Grah...

It really kind of sucks when a long standing friendship falls apart, doesn't it? And not because of a big fight or anything...just that, with time, you grow apart until the friendship eventually collapses. I really, really hate that.

Honestly, I think I'd rather we have fought. For a couple of reasons; 1) At least then, I could be angry with him, which would make it easier to move on. One is not as likely to sit around moping about the lack of a person if said person is someone you're thoroughly pissed at. And 2) At least then there'd be some...closure? Not sure if that's the best word, but you get the idea. You'd know it was over, and that'd be that. None of this dithering around wondering if you're even still friends, or wondering what you can still say/do around each other.

And I hate that there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I mean...I've called him on this crap. He knows that we've distanced, and how I feel about that. But nothing's changed. He doesn't care as much as I do, I suppose. And that's a pretty rotten feeling right there; knowing that you care for someone more than they care for you.

...At this point, I don't know what else I can do about it. I mean...I've done what I can to keep in touch. ('Keep in touch' sounds funny, since we live maybe 20 minutes apart. Not far. But we may as well be on opposite sides of the planet for all the attention he grants me.) My work schedule is fixed, and has been for a long time, so he knows when I'm free. He has multiple ways to talk to me. (Phone, letters, email, IMs, LJ, etc.) Whereas his schedule fluctuates (so I don't know when he's free unless he tells me, which he often doesn't), and I have fewer ways to talk to him. In short, it's way easier for him to get a hold of me than the reverse. He just can't be assed to do it. Oh, I'll get a phone call every now and then. (Like, once every few weeks.) But it's always short, and we don't seem to say much. (Which feels so weird, because we used to could talk for hours about nothing at all.) And that's it. It's been over a year since I've seen him. (Again; we live only 15-20 minutes apart!)

I just...don't know what else I can do, y'know? I don't want to let this friendship just end, but I don't see what choice I have. It just really sucks. This guy is (or was) my best friend. For the last eight years. It's just hard to let that go, y'know? Especially since there isn't any solid reason why this is happening. Again, I honestly think it'd be easier if we'd just had a fight. At least then I'd know why.

*Sigh* ...So, yeah. Not a happy camper right now. Any advice, or commiseration, would be appreciated. =(

Meme~

Because it's been a while since I did one, have a meme. Ganked from joisbishmyoga.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. This is harder than you think.

( Pick Your Artist! )